Happy International Pronouns Day, y’all. Whether your pronouns are he, she, they, them, it, anything in-between or you just prefer to be called THAT bitch – Happy International Pronouns Day to you!

You’re either here because you’re someone who is genuinely curious to know what International Pronouns Day is (yay you), you’re one of my friends who I’ve forced to read this article. Either that OR you’re just bored in iso and can’t bear to bake another fucking loaf of banana bread. Whatever your reason, I am here to talk you through it and hopefully you – as the great Tyra Banks once said – “LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS”

From before we can even speak, we are taught to refer to people by using pronouns. Typically, when referring to somebody in the third person, these pronouns have a gender implied. For example “she” to refer to a girl/woman or “he” to refer to a boy/man. These associations are not always accurate or helpful. Being referred to by the incorrect pronouns most commonly affects transgender and gender nonconforming people.

So what is International Pronouns Day?

International Pronouns Day, celebrated annually on the 3rd Wednesday of October, meaning this year on October 21st, seeks to make respecting, sharing, and educating personal pronouns commonplace. Together, we can transform society to celebrate people’s multiple, intersecting identities.

Referring to people by the pronouns they determine for themselves is basic to human dignity, so we’ve thrown together a few lil’ tips & tricks to get pronouns right.


#1 Don’t be afraid to ask! Always ask people what their pronouns are. I know it can be awkward but asking about pronouns is less awkward then being called the wrong pronoun.

For example: “Hi, what are your pronouns?” “I use they/them pronouns. Thanks for asking!”

#2 Don’t judge! Don’t ask why. They do not owe you an explanation. Keep your opinions to yourself and keep it moving *choo choo*

“I use they/them pronouns” “okay, awesome!”

#3 Adding pronouns to your social media bios, zoom name, and email signature. This indicates to others that you are a safe person and a safe ally – it shows you care about individuals’ identities and avoids accidental misgendering; it helps normalise that gender and pronouns are not inherently obvious and one should never assume and to ask politely, and its like really, really easy.

#4 Correct yourself! If you mess up, correct yourself swiftly and move on. Do not make a big deal of it.

“I just ran into him – I mean them. They’re so nice”

#5 Correct others! If they mess up, correct them and move on.

“I saw him the other day-” “her” “thanks, I saw her the other day, they called you a bitch” XD

Asking and doing these simple things can take some getting used to, but these simple gestures show that you are supportive. More now than ever, at a time when non-binary and trans people are continuously targeted by trolls/the leader of the free world (or as I like to call him ‘the OG tan mom’) it is vital to take a stand and show some of the most vulnerable in our community that we see you and we’re fighting for you.

So go forth, tell people your pronouns, ask people theirs and just be a nice fucking person okay?

Xoxo pronouns boy.


ICYMI: Little Gay Long Weekend @ The Wickham, Brisbane Was Wild


What Actually Is Concealer? | A Modern Gay's Guide To Men's Cosmetics


About Author

Walton Wong

Meet Walton Wong - a 28-year-old, Melbourne-based part-time writer and full-time hot mess.

He is a homebody at heart who enjoys binge eating, drinking cocktails, and memorising the words to real housewife fights, often simultaneously.

Walton is originally from Papua New Guinea, which means he brings a unique – and welcomed – perspective to the Gay’s Guide team.

Please head to our contact page if you’d like to share feedback on A Modern Gay’s Guide or pitch a story that you’d like us to cover.