It doesn’t matter if you’re a baby gay or downright veteran, there’s an age old question you will have to ponder time and time again: is that cute girl into girls too?
You’ve probably Googled this question looking for tips and let’s be honest – some of the clues out there (wears flannel shirts, has short hair) will lead you up the garden path.
So let’s dissect some of the stereotypical signs that she might be lesbian…as well as some more subtle ones.
Pro tip: The last tip is our best.
- Chat about what she’s watching. I have found this to be a super reliable starting point. Slip into conversation you’ve just seen something gay AF (think Ratchet, Carol, Blue is the Warmest Colour, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Vida, Killing Eve or The Haunting of Bly Manor) and wait for her reaction. If she has seen it too and is super enthusiastic about it you might be in luck. Lord knows if a show or movie has a lesbian storyline (no matter how minor) we will probably froth it.
- Ask her where she normally goes for a night out. If it’s a gay club or a known LGBT venue that’s a STRONG sign.
- Peep the shoes. While getting ready for a night out once, a lesbian friend said ‘oh you’re putting your gay shoes on!’ as I tied up my Converse. In my experience Converse and Vans are popular among WLW. But this one will never have 100 per cent accuracy, here’s looking at you high femmes.
- Find out about her music taste. Try mentioning G Flip, King Princess or Girl in Red and gauge the reaction.
- Is she wearing a button up? Get ready to make a move. For real. This is an incredibly reliable sign.
- Does she have a cat? Again not foolproof, but I gotta say, kinda common!
- Casually out yourself in conversation. If she’s queer, there’s a 99 per cent chance she will then do the same.
- There’s a lot to be said for eye contact or casual physical touch. Is she shooting you glances? Moving closer to you? Putting her hand on your leg when she laughs? This girl feels some kind of closeness towards you and hopefully it’s not just the friendship kind 😉
- Does she have a cat? Again not foolproof, but quite common!
- And of course the only way to find out without some degree of guesswork – ask her! It might seem daunting, but I’ve NEVER seen someone have a bad reaction. After all, why should they right!? Keep it simple, relaxed and smile as you say something like, ‘so what’s your situation right now? Do you date guys, girls or both?’ If you wanna be cheeky try: ‘Do you want to go to Bunnings tomorrow?’ (Yes someone has used this on me successfully).
So have fun and shoot your shot. The brooding across-the-bar stare might be popular among some queer gals, but we can do so much better 😉